Specific Groups Need Not Apply

Life isn’t fair. It is a phrase that we are told all the time but it does not make it any easier for us to internalize. We all wish the world was more fair. Discrimination is one of the areas of life that makes life feel unfair. I recently saw an article about an Asian man who wanted to sue a gay dating app called Grindr because of the number of profiles who mention they were not interested in Asians. He claimed that the app is “breeding ground that perpetuates racism against gay Asian [men].” I have heard of the stigma of being a gay Asian man before, and it is definitely not something to celebrate about the gay community. This article got me thinking about how he wanted to deal with this discrimination. So I decided to go through what I see are the most common ways we can all deal with discrimination.

Apathy

Ignore it and move on. Discrimination might not be fair, but sometimes it is not worth the energy to fight a particular instance of discrimination. This is not always the most viable option if the act of discrimination is keeping you from obtaining something important. So this option will not always be easy, but it something worth remembering. If a store does not want to serve you and there is similar store within reasonable driving distance, then you might just be better served going to the other business.

Strength

Embrace it, and use it as a source of strength. Kim Chi, a top contestant on season 8 of Rupaul’s Drag Race, talks about how there are three traits not considered desirable in the gay community. Those traits being, fat, fem (feminine) and Asian. Kim Chi turned this into a source of strength by bringing to light this stigma and then jokingly points out that because he is has all three of these traits he considers himself a triple threat.

He even took it as far as making his season finale performance into a song called “Fat Fem and Asian”.

By embracing the traits that we’re stigmatized by the gay community he was able to draw attention to the discrimination happening, poke fun of it and turn it into a source of strength. This allows us to acknowledge the discrimination while at the same time bring us up instead of letting it drag you down.

Action

Do something about the discrimination. If it is a business then choose to not give them your money. From there you can use the power of the internet and social media to share this with other people. Between, Yelp, YouTube, and Facebook there are plenty of ways to let others know about the discrimination you are facing. I and many others boycotted Chick-fil-A for years when I found out they used their money to fund anti-gay marriage laws. They are not the only ones though, most people have heard of at least one story of a bakery refusing to bake a cake for a gay wedding. These stories seem to go viral these days, and would make it hard for a company to hide from this. The internet is one of the most powerful tools we have in society when it comes to sharing of information, and ideas.

Government

Petition the government to implement laws that would make a specific type of discrimination illegal, or ensure that quotas are met to ensure equality of distribution. We already have some of these laws in place today. These laws come in the form of affirmative action to encourage a distribution of races and sexes for colleges and jobs. Additionally there are protected class laws that make it illegal to fire an employee on the basis that they belong to a protected class. At the federal level these classes are: sex, race, age, disability, color, creed, national origin, religion, or genetic information. Another way to use the government is to use our court system to litigate a due to discrimination you have received. Suing a bakery for not baking your gay wedding cake, or in this case suing a gay dating app for providing a platform that allows for racism.

Applying The Strategies

In the case of the Asian man wanting to sue Grindr for providing the platform he received discrimination on, the first three suggested solutions are perfectly viable. You could ignore the men on the app who discriminate against Asian men. They seem to be saying they will not have an interest in him, and in turn that means it is very likely he would not want to date that person either. While it may be frustrating to see it over and over it is in a way helpful. This is because now you know right away which people you would not match well with and can move on quicker to people that are more interested in you.

Strength is another viable option. Similar to Kim Chi from RuPaul’s Drag Race, you can take your race and turn it into a positive and even list it on your profile as something that if they are not okay with it then they can just keep on walking because they are not worth it. You could even take action by telling your friends that you find this type of behavior unacceptable and discourage those around you to take part in similar discrimination. One of my favorite phrases is, “Sunlight is the best disinfectant”. Meaning that exposing and publicizing a given action is one of the best ways to draw attention to it and encourage it to change or to shame those for those actions. As long as you are not publicizing a specific individual’s private information like their address, full name, and calling for violence, then it is okay. The least viable option is the government one.

Using government to try and address discrimination is not an effective solution. A private citizen should not be forced into doing something for someone else. If a person builds a business with their resources, they should not be obligated to another private citizen to not allow profiles on their app that list groups of people they do not like. If you buy baking ingredients, and open a store you should not be obligated to serve everyone who walks through the door just because they showed up. Businesses refuse to serve drunk people, signs saying “No shirt, no shoes, no service”. Sure these are not based on a person’s physical characteristics but the principle applies the same. However, a business is generally better served by trying to serve as many people as possible to maximize their bottom line, without being forced to do so.

This is not to trivialize all forms of discrimination. As some forms of discrimination are more severe than others. All citizens should have equal protection under the law and as such is enshrined in our fourteenth amendment. When it comes to private entities the government should not be involved in playing mediator and forcing people to play nice with each other under the threat of legal penalty with respect to discrimination. We should encourage our society to be more tolerating through ourselves and those around us. The more widespread and severe the discrimination the larger the societal imperative is to curb that practice with their money and their actions. Just because someone does not want to treat you the same does not mean we need to involve the equivalent of “Mom and Dad” to complain that Billy won’t share his toys with me. In closing, I am not for discrimination I just do not think government is the solution to these problems.